Black. White.

Left on Halstead.

Good advice for anyone who relies on Google Maps for directions...a search for directions from Chicago to London results in this brilliant shortcut - happy travels!

Trick or treat.

Smell my feet:

A little privacy, please!

Here we have ellle trying to make a quiet exit from a local rehab center, she was reportedly being treated for 'exhaustion', but paperwork indicates that she was at the facility to try and manage her new guacamole addiction:

Gimmie the keys!

Time for an Exorcism.

We make a very strong effort to get to church on most Sundays...but we know that we HAVE to go to when you wake up and find that elle has been demonically possesed by the devil-baby spirits that encircle the 8th ring of hell:

Make Believe.

Imagine that you were drinking a beer that was enhanced through the addition of lime juice.

Now, pretend that you put some of the lime juice in the beer, possibly spilling some on your fingers.

And maybe, just maybe, you do not wash your hands of the juice.

Then - if for some strange reason - you happen to have a baby that tends to put everything in its' mouth.

Next, you let that baby put those fingers in her mouth

So...if all of those things actually did happen - I would think that the resulting image might look somethig like this:

Hypothetically, of course.

Ryôri no tetsujin.

Let this post serve as our formal weight-gain challenge!

You may have a few pounds on us now, Sumo Baby - but we are on track and determined to catch up before Memorial Day...

Feel the Burn.

More adventures of Ah Bun and Ah Jim, our favorite Japanese friends:

The Triangle

We snuck over to the fancy neighborhood and used their park to catch-up on some fresh air and sunshine:

Rat Advice.

Always remember is that it is better to eat the rat, than to have the rat eat you:

Chompers.

We thought we would save elle the time and trouble of teething, so we had these installed over the weekend...isn't she cute!

BFF.

On a recent elle-focused shopping trip, we gave her the opportunity to pick out a new stuffed animal...she showed no interest in fluffy bunnies, or a fancy teddy bear - nope, she settled on a cuddly NYC sewer rat:

Heinz.

Always trying to refine our budget, we have decided that the most econimical way to get elle her recommended vegetable servings is to simply start feeding her packets of fast-food ketchup packets:

San Patrizio

How do we celebrate, you ask?

Tasty green lunch:

On Strike?

In an apparent backlash against Blogger, elle has refused to show up to for her modeling duties.

Her public relations department has issued a statement that she is demanding that her contract be renegotiated to reflect the 'undue mental stress' that she has experienced over the latest Blogger outage. The press release indicates that she will no longer 'bother to get out of the crib' for anything less than a 50% pay increase.

Until we reach a settlemet - she has requested that I post a photo of her new babysitter and agent:

Spring Broken.

I think the retards at Google have taken off for Spring Break, because Blogger has been broken for 2 days.

Sorry folks, updates as soon as it is fixed.

Instructions for Sleep.

1. Find corner.
2. Locate giraffe blanket.
3. Insert finger into mouth.
4. Point your booty to the sky.

Copycat?

Imitation is flattery:

Looking good, feeling good.

Here we have elle trying on her new shades, just before she ate them:

One little monkey.

Pure Leather

After taking just one day to eat all of the Calphalon in the house, elle has now resorted to eating her own leather shoes to get more protein:

Heavy Metal.

In our continued efforts to make elle the largest baby in Austin - we have decided to skip applesauce and smushy bananas and go straight to feeding her large pieces of cast iron:

The Fairy Godmother

Auntie MC and ellle - saying cheese:

To Lounge.

I know your jealous.

I get to kick back in my Pampers and watch SpongeBob all day long...

Sunday mornings.

My hair had a party last night...

Discovery Farm.

Catching up on the latest news from the farm...the chickens are doing fine, the pigs are happy, and the cow will STILL not go into the barn:

Skull-cap.

Here we have elle Smurfed-out in her new custom designed headgear:

Thighmaster.

Since elle has developed a complex over her massive thighs, she wanted me to post a picture from last summer when she was still working out: